Living in Religious Stupidity - A Post About Children Killed by Nutter Church

Last night I posted this brief bit about an article I'd read in People Magazine:

'I found an article in People Magazine entitled "Did Their Faith Kill Their Kids?" - be afraid when you read anything with a title such as that. This article was about a couple, Mr. & Mrs. Schaible, of whom two of their children had been sickening, let two of them die from bacterial pneumonia. First it was their 2-year0old Kent, who died in 2009, then Brandon, their 8-month-old son, died on 18 April 2013. A court in Philadelphia has charged them with murder, because they would not get either child to the doctor because their crazy church wouldn't let them! These two kids died from an easily treatable disease! They have lost all of their children and are in jail. Hopefully they will never get out.'

I got responses:

• Deborah Sweet Wow, how awful. Hope they never see the light of day again.

  16 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 1
• 

  Aislínge Kellogg de Gómez Yes. It's bad enough I know people who won't get their kids inoculated because they operate under the incorrect and misguided notion that those inoculations cause some form of Autism (they don't - I've attended classes for EMTs to deal with patients who are Autistic and no one believes that this is the case). That is bad enough. And they tell the school system that they are into some religion that is against this so that their kids can go into school and infect others. How is THAT okay?!

  15 hours ago · Like

  
  

  Gabriel Bakker 1) The church that convinced them not to go to the hospital is not facing any criminal charges at all. The pastor of that church is not the one in jail.

  
  

  2) You can't imagine what those parents are going through. They lost their children and now on top of that have to spend the rest of their lives in jail.

  
  

  3) Children die after being taken to the hospital too - you don't put the parents in jail in those cases for TAKING the kids to the hospital, do you? You don't put the doctor in jail either.

  
  

  4) This country was founded upon freedom of religion - people have the right to follow whatever crazy religion they please, no matter how stupid it is, as long as it doesn't interfere with the rights of other people. (In this case, it interfered with their children's rights)

  
  

  5) Those parents were duped by their church .. there are lots of churches out there of all kinds (including wiccan churches) that dupe their followers. That doesn't mean every wiccan church is bad, nor does it mean that every christian church is bad. But when someone experiences a tragedy as a result of following the practice of some cult, my reaction is to feel sorry for them, not angry. I'm sure they wish they were dead a million times over .. perhaps if anyone the pastor of the church should be the one in jail, not the parents.

  
  

  6) And most important, we have a right to not go to the hospital! It is a very important right! There are many diseases that doctors don't know how to treat and often they treat them by experimenting on patients with different drugs, because they're paid by Big Pharma to be drug dealers .. my mother has destroyed her health and messed up her life by trusting her doctor and taking the pills she's told to take, and they experimented all kinds of drugs on her, including many that are now illegal, and many that are dangerous as hell but, sadly are still being prescribed.

  
  

  Psychiatric medicine is the worst. If I was crazy I would still do everything I could to avoid going to the hospital, because if you do go to the hospital for a psychiatric disorder, you're almost guaranteed to be made worse.

  
  

  Doctors prescribe Ritalin, and Adderol (which are Amphetamines, called Speed on the streets) to children as young as 3 years old!!! Tell me thats not messed up!

  
  

  Would you rather live in a world where parents are forced to give their children speed because they were required to take their child to the doctor for behavior problems and the doctor decided he wanted to make some money selling the child speed instead of treating the actual issue?

  
  

  When I was a child diagnosed with extreme ADHD and borderline Autism, a doctor tried to prescribe me with ritalin. I thank GOD that my parents, for religious reasons, were against giving me amphetamines when I was a child and refused. They discovered the Feingold Diet instead, which mandates avoiding eating Petroleum Based Food Dyes (called Artificial Colors) which every civilized country in the world except for America has banned because the rest of the world knows they cause ADHD.. What if my parents were locked up for not following the doctors advise in my case? Instead of being gifted, I would have been stunted, as I watched the other children who grew up around me who had ADHD's lives slowly degrade because of the drugs they never should have been given in the first place.

  
  

  Nothing is as simple as it seems, and these parents already wish they were dead .. nothing we can say here will make anything better or worse for them, but I'm shocked to hear you react so strongly with hatred towards them.

  
  

  Surely you don't believe parents should be required to always follow the advise of doctors in hospitals, do you? what kind of police state do you want to live in?

  15 hours ago · Like

  
  

  • Aislínge Kellogg de Gómez It's my opinion. It's one thing for adults to make his or her own decision. It is up to parents to do what they can to nuture and protect his or her children. Kids can't make that decision. And I wouldn't compare this to speed. I'm personally against giving kids drugs for ADHD, as it happens - something like 85% of the population has it. I always joke that the 15% without ADHD should be on something to give them ADHD. But allowing your kids to die for something like a misguided religion - to me - is wrong. I'm entitled to my opinion.

    15 hours ago · Like
  • 

    Gabriel Bakker I agree that its a messed up situation, a terrible thing. And my rant was probably a bit long and overboard and perhaps even irrelevant.

    
    

    But I think perhaps we should blame the church that misled the people too if we're going to be so angry .. how is this any different then some nutcase religious cult tricking hundreds of people into drinking poisoned coolaid?

    
    

    And also I don't want to live in a world with mandatory hospitalization .. I don't trust doctors, I've seen too many times when they screwed people up by prescribing drugs that were completely unnecessary and under tested.

    15 hours ago · Unlike · 1

    
    

    • Aislínge Kellogg de Gómez Fortunately for me, my doctors have worked so hard on my behalf. This is a terrible condition to live with - although not as bad as others - and my docs have helped me to make it bearable. To keep me walking and able to get out of bed.

      15 hours ago · Like
    • 

      Aislínge Kellogg de Gómez However, you are right in that the church should be held liable. I just can't fathom how the parents could buy into it. I'm naturally leery of religion in its own right - the daughter of an atheist and an agnostic, this will happen. I made my own choice as an adult (I feel that way about religion, too - don't program your kids, let them pick and choose when they are old enough. Besides, I've noticed that most Christians sort of "lose the way" the more their parents pushed it), and would never have gotten into the idea that medical treatment is bad. Also, Ray was raised as a Christian Scientist and quickly dumped that as an adult. They believe in the same thing: prayer heals, doctors don't. It scares me that anyone could try to sell that. Just scares me to my bones.

      15 hours ago · Like
    • 

      Gabriel Bakker If I was facing a disease like the one their kids had, or if I had kids with that disease, I would go to a hospital/take the kids to a hospital. For things that modern medicine has "down-pat" I would trust a doctor for.

      
      

      But for things like (especially psychiatric issues, I do not trust psychiatric doctors as far as I can throw them. Too many of them are just drug dealers, and they take the most innocent people (like little children) hooked on drugs that they have no idea what they're for.

      15 hours ago · Like
    • 

      Deborah Sweet It is wrong to assume that parents have the legal right to withhold medical treatment from minor children. They do not, regardless of religion. Every state in the Union has laws which compel parents to give children life-saving medical care. IF a Dr. or hospital knows a minor is deliberately being withheld from lifesaving care, court orders can be issued, and treatment given. Many of these laws came about because of Jehovah's Witnesses, but they apply to any sect which holds that modern medical intervention is unnecessary, and that God heals all.

      I'd have more sympathy for the parents if they hadn't allowed a second child to die. They should have learned from the first one. At least the rest of their children will now have a sporting chance of growing to adulthood.

      Whether people like it or not, we have a responsibility to protect those who are weaker or have less power or voice.

      Can anyone really believe that someone's beliefs take precedence over the life of a child who cannot speak for themselves? Our courts don't.

      15 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 2

      
      

      As you can see, it turned into quite a long conversation. We argued, saw each others points, all found it to be tragic and awful. I never can fathom what makes people turn to a religion that, like fad diets, cut out whole aspects of life. And I stand by my assertion that for an adult to make the decision to allow a curable condition to kill her or him is one thing, but to not protect and nurture your children to ensure they make it to adulthood is just wrong.

      
      

      And as Deborah pointed out, it is not legal to allow one's children to end up dead because some nutter of a priest pushed them to just pray instead of mixing prayer with a doctor's knowledge to save them. There are times that I agree with Republicans that we have too many bloody laws dictating what we do/don't do, how to live/not live, and there are times when I can see why certain laws are put in place. At times we are too ignorant (I'll say that instead of "stupid", because sometimes it is just plain old ignorance) to be allowed to do as we please. That doesn't sound too nice, but there it is. I supported passing laws regarding blue headlights, tinted car windows and wearing seat belts. It needed to be done.

      
      

      This article was shocking. It was awful to read that a family let two of their kids die of something so easily cured. It was appalling. And you know me. If it is something that means a lot to me, then it is time to talk about it.

Living in the Old Farmer's Almanac: June 2013

Farmer's Calendar

Rather than rely on supermarket fare, many folks prefer to raise their own chickens for eggs or meat. The number of people who own chickens in urban areas has been growing steadily in recent years. In response, several towns and cities, including Las Angeles and New York, have changed their ordinances to allow small-scale chicken farming in residential areas.

Farming chickens means that you have control over the quality of your produce and the happiness of your hens. You can give your flock fodder that is free from chemicals and additives and provide lots of room for them to run about. Chickens that allowed to forage in the yard will add slugs, bugs, grass, and weeds to their menu, resulting in highly nutritious, great-tasting eggs with bright orange yolks and thick, firm whites. The poultry also create high-nitrogen droppings, which, when aged, are an ideal organic plant food.

As a bonus, these feathered friends are great pets that entertain for hours with their whimsical antics.

If you would like to raise a few chickens, talk shop with backyard farmers--they are sure to have tales and tips to tell. Also, check food regulations before turning your dreams into reality: You don't want to run "a-fowl" of the law.

SKY WATCH ☆ A striking vertical line of bright planets form near the sunset point some 40 minutes after sunset on the 1st. Jupiter, at magnitude -1.9, is closest to the horizon; Venus, at -3.8, is int he middle; and Mercury, at -4.0, Stands highest. Mercury is just a scant 10 degrees above the horizon, so the spectacle requires an unobstructed skyline for viewing. The thin 2-day-old crescent Moon hovers to the lower left of Mercury and Venus on the 10th. Look for the Moon, due south at nightfall, next to blue Spica on the 18th and below Saturn on the 19th. Jupiter disappears behind the Sun in a conjunction on the 19th. Summer arrives with the Solstice at 1:04 A.M. on the 21st.

Weather

Squall

time,

then

it's

fine.

Flashes

and

crashes!

First

it

rains,

then

it

pours;

graduations

have

to

move

indoors.

Brides

and

grooms

exchange

their

vows;

lightening

glows

inside

each

cloud.

5 June - 34 tornadoes wound through Ark., 1916 (Luis' birthday)

Living in the World of a Friend's Break Up

I stopped today to pick myself up a snack and ran into a friend of mine. We aren't close friends, but we have known each other a long time - as long as I have lived on this side of town. In fact, she catered a party for us way back then. We see each other about three or four times a year, chat for a bit, and yes, even though we are not close by normal standards, I would call her friend happily - and wish that we have had the time and closer circles to be more close.

I saw her about a week or so ago and when I asked how she was, well - it all came out. It was fresh, shocking, hurtful - all the things that so many marriages fall apart over. She is tough and strong and I am so proud of her - far more than I've said. The kind of strong that is tempered by a sweet, kind personality, never abusive, never unkind, but still resilient, like an oak tree.

I cannot imagine what she is really and truly going through. I haven't been there. Luis has always maintained that he would tell me and either heal the potential rift or end things with me if he met someone else - that he would not take that next step without ending our relationship. Does that seem like an odd thing to say? Quite honestly, it is one of the most respectful, honest, hard, but best things he has ever promised. The ignominy of finding out that your husband, the man you plan to be with in thick and thin, sickness and health, for richer or poorer, is running around with another person, male or female, is unbearable. It is better to end a failing relationship first, then run off with Mr. or Ms. Happy-ever-After. When it comes to Luis, it is a promise he will keep. He is a man of very strong convictions and he keeps every promise - a rare and special gift.

I guess you can call her another statistic, as so many of us are in some fashion, whether it is marriage, age, sickness, employment, whatever. I'm inordinately proud of the fact that Luis and I - even though not legally married - have stood so long the test of time. Over twenty-three years. And still people have the nerve to prate that we aren't truly married, that should we part, it would be "easy". There is nothing easy about dividing a long-time union. It is misguided thinking to say that we would not experience the entire gamut of ugliness that goes with division of a legalised relationship - and the fact that New Jersey does not recognise couples living together at all - won't keep one of us from taking the other to court should it come to that. If Luis, for example, abrogated his promise to end things before sleeping with another person, I would not only take him to court, I'd win some form of alimony (not legally called such) and more, being disabled and suddenly bereft of house and home. So never be complacent about our "non-legal" status as a married couple. In the eyes of the law, I'd still be a terribly wronged woman.

I would like to think that it wouldn't come to that. In any fashion. I'm not so naive as to think it can't happen, it happens far too often to not think of it, or to assume that our relationship won't need work - as all relationships do. And therein, I think, lies the problems.

How many youthful marriages don't work out? Because the participants are young? Isn't that just a little too easy - and completely erroneous? Youth is not the issue - not always. Some of us mature faster than others. Some us marry right out of high school. Some of us marry in our 40s. Some of us don't marry, but live companionably with another person. And some of us remain alone all of our lives. I'm not one of those - I'm happiest living with someone and that someone is Luis. I can't imagine a different - or better - life. We aren't always super happy, but I think most of the time we are. Certainly, while I am in this transition in my life and not happy - when it comes to Luis, and how he has handled all this shit with my health, not working, etc., I could not ever be happier. He keeps me laughing. He is loving, kind, sweet, caring, and he has shown it so much more now that this has happened.

This is straying from the point, as so much of what I write does...

The worst part of this, naturally, is that two children, very cute, young, sweet children, have come of this union. I knew she was strong prior to having her children; now, it has made her stronger - she will need that, as she will need to shield them from the coming storm. The dissolution of any relationship is hard enough - but dissolution of a relationship involving kids is exponentially harder. And let's be honest, here again, age is not a prerequisite for being tortured by it. I was two and a half years old when my parents dissolved their marriage and that had far-reaching effects that last to this day. It has made for a non-existent relationship with Harry, my biological father (whom, despite our once-again non-existent relationship, I do love; I am so much more his child than my mother's, oddly enough - and that isn't just simple genetics, not at all). So, had I been older, I know there would have been much more hell to go through, for all of us, than there was. Clearly at any age it is hard, but as the age of the child increases, it just gets harder. Even if the kids are in their 30s, it is still hard - hard feelings, a lack of understanding especially if things seemed good on the surface.

On the other hand, I happen to be a firm believer in divorce. As hard and hurtful as it is - and it is - parents who are desparately unhappy in a relationship but stay "together for the kids" are almost always doing more harm than good. Kids are not stupid and by far not unaware that something is inherently wrong. My cousin's parents had a very shocking and sudden divorce - my uncle had fallen in love with someone else, kept it a secret and then one day, knowing he wanted to live with his girlfriend, just came out with this complete bombshell. That's the story as I know it. There is no reason to doubt it. It made my aunt very bitter - which is understandable to a point. I'd be royally pissed off with Luis if he did that. But I would not denounce all men as being the same. That just isn't the case. And I'd be willing to put myself out there after a period of time when I would go through all five steps of the process that comes with any life change. I know I could get hurt again... that is just the way it is when dealing with other people. But I would be so much less happy just going it alone. Well, she and my cousin did stop communicating at all with my uncle (we didn't, which created all kinds of shit, but I agree with my parents that it would have been a pity to lose one person because of that. Yes, that is opening myself to a lot of abuse, but it is years past and I prefer to be Switzerland when others' relationships end - mostly. Undoubtedly there are times when that can't happen, but I do try), but now my cousin is close to her father again, something I consider excellent. No one should have to lose a parent. But there is a part of me that wonders if on some level, some deep-inside, unnerving but unknowing way she didn't feel a general wrong-ness somehow. Who knows, though? She was 16, a difficult enough age to experience without that kind of trauma. And it was absolutely traumatic. How could it not be?

Shit, it is hard enough just to drag one's ass out of bed and face the normal day at 16. To go through that at the same time - again, not something I can imagine. At all. we have never been close, certainly not the way Renée (my cousin, younger by two and a half years) are. But Renée is close to Justine and very likely knows a lot more about what she went through then, than I. But I have a ton of respect for Justine for not only getting through it all, but for regaining closeness with her father. That had to be very hard.

So there it is. Living in the world of a friend's break up. There is nothing easy about this. But I have every confidence in her to get through it and come out way ahead. The husband... well. She is going to make him swallow it whole and without anything to wash it down. I get it. I'd help if I could. Sometimes, though, the best help is to just be there. The gods know I have a huge urge to shove it down his throat and that is so hard - I'm much too accustomed to speaking my mind but she made it clear this is just between us and so I have to smile and act the same toward him as always, but if he has half a brain (obviously not, but still...), he'd read my body language and have a clue that I think he is just slime.

Half a brain. Maybe that is the problem. Or maybe I know where his brain is at the moment...

Living in the Old Farmer's Almanac in May 2013

Happy Beltane!

Farmer's Calendar

Centuries ago, gardeners learned to time horticultural activities, such as planting, pest control, and harvesting, not by a set date on a calendar, but by signs that Nature provided. In fact, phenology, the study of the timing of animals and plant cycles in relation to climate and seasonal changes, is still used today.

The signaling events and their times may vary by location. Gardeners in certain regions might plant cool-season flowers when aspens and chokecherries leaf out; fertilize the lawn when forsythias and crocuses start to bloom; watch for Mexican bean beetles when foxgloves flowers open; sow seeds of beets, lettuce, and carrots when dandelions appear, or set out tomatoes and pepper plants, when lilies-of-the-valley blossom.

To use this technique, keep a journal. Note when plants bud, flower and fruit. Keep track of animal and insect life cycles and activities, such as the emergence of Japanese beetles. Jot down daily weather conditions (temperature, sunlight, precipitation, wind, etc.). Examine each plant's site: Record the exposure to the elements, soil conditions, and any possible stress factors.

Review your notes periodically. You'll begin to notice patterns that will help you to schedule tasks, and you'll become come as savvy as those gardeners of long ago.

SKY WATCH ☆ Saturn remains splendid throughout this month and is out all night long. Jupiter is now getting low in the evening twilight. Mercury hovers to the right of returning Venus, only 7 degrees above the western horizon 40 minutes after sunset on the 23rd. Venus closely meets Jupiter, a potentially spectacular even though both are near their minimum brightness, on the 27th and 28th. Mercury hovers just above them. However, the planetary trio sits just 6 degrees above the western horizon 40 minutes after sunset and thus requires an unobstructed skyline for viewing. They are easier to see from southern states.

Weather

Buttercups

and

daffodils

dot

the

lush,

sun-dappled

hills.

Cloudbursts

dampen

campin'--

more

chills

than

thrills.

Still

showering,

but

the

scent

of

lilacs

is

overpowering.

It's

hot.

Clear

the

hero's

cemetery

plot.

MAY 24-25: Penumbral eclipse of the Moon.
This eclipse will be fully visible from North America (except for Alaska) but not visible from Hawaii. The eclipse starts on May 24 at 11:43 P.M. EDT and ends on May 25 at 12:37 A.M. EDT.

Note that the penumbral magnitude of this eclipse is only 0.041! The Moon is just barely grazing the Earth's shadow, making this a rather weak "eclipse".

Rats!

Watching My Father Living with Grilled Vegetables!

Of course, you will die for them, if you come here or - alternatively - go to Afghanistan. Here, in nice suburban Parsippany, we just saunter over to the Kabob Paradise, a food forced lovingly upon me by Lauryn Nolan years back at one of our Parsippany Day events. Since then, I was completely captivated by their food. And Luis and now my father love it, too.

My father got up to 333 pounds over a period of about a year or so, when my mother was struck with the first of too many strokes. And suddenly life was just pear shaped and out of control. So his whole focus became learning to take care of my mother, a task I would not willingly take on (this is a weakness, to be sure, but it is also a definitive statement. This is not an ideal task for someone with my disposition and personality. I cannot be close to ANY of my patients - unlike my father, who cannot do EMS the way I can - divorcing myself from the patient is what I am good at, not the opposite). It took far less time than you'd think, but he really was scared shitless at first - and why not? This is an enormous undertaking. Also, you come out of the explanations and advice thinking, "Oh, my gods, here is my [spouse, child, parent, etc.] with his or her life in my hands! How many ways to Sunday can I fuck this up?" Don't deny it - there isn't a person alive, thrown into a situation without warning of this nature who hasn't thought this at some point[s]. And all kudos aside, Ray had to go through the trial by fire, and asking people for help, and asking questions after questions, and now, well, the change in him is truly amazing.

And the unexpected bonuses that came with it. Truly you will never know what you can do until you absolutely have to - sink or swim, who wouldn't prefer to swim and get out of it more than just alive? Of course we do - it is the indomitable human spirit. Ray not only became a primary care giver but built up his nerve to 1. spend money more comfortably without worrying that overnight he'll be broke, 2. take that "don't mess with me" tone with people when needed, and 3. stop getting too nervous or verbally incontinent when looking into new matters (my mother used to handle all the money affairs - which while she did some good things, very often her view of money management, like mine versus Luis', were completely at odds with Ray's ideas of money management. She and I live[d] by the mantra, 'he who dies with the most money is still dead"; while Luis and Ray prefer to hold onto it with much more vim and vigor. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be smart with it, but often any extreme is not the right way to handle... anything).

[Welcome to the wonderful world of the run-on sentence...]

Well. Once Ray got used to the new schedule and swing of things, his weight remained there. Now, yes, he is very tall - 6'4" - and that helps, but 333lbs, while a nice triple sine number, is not at all a healthy weight. I would bring this up once in a while, but much with Luis, nagging anyone is a great way to ensure that no matter what they might say to you, they will just dig in those heels and not do it. I'm that way, so of this I know.

But then, he met Jane, made good friends, and now they are in a relationship - a very long distance one, but one none-the-less. Everyone is happy! I'm very, very happy - it only took me three years to get him to see the benefits of Facebook and talking to not only his daughter but other adults - people his age, possibly who are or have been in his situation or just to have fun - but to remain, despite this unenviable situation, connected to the outside world.

Now, it is funny but shells and shards, how people will initially react funny to hearing how my married father - whom I am very close to - is "involved with a girlfriend" until they really understand the bare bones of the situation. For one thing, he is in New Jersey, Jane is as far south as you can get without leaving the United States (but not Florida). So it is not as though there is any flaunting or weirdness that turns people off. Then, too, my mother is unable to communicate, move, do anything. Both sides of her body do not work any longer. She sleeps about 20 hours out of each day. He won't put her in a home, won't stop caring for her until the end, but imagine living with no one to speak with, no adult company. So suddenly not one single person has any negative feelings about this!

So often I find I am disappointed by peoples' reactions to many things, but in this, I am very happy! Peoples' reactions have been very positive. And I thank Jane constantly. She has seen what I have always seen, a truly sweet caring person who survived all sorts of life lessons, with Ma, marriage, raising a kid who really put him through the ringer as a teen - I mean, when I was a teen - and has come out as sweet, kind but stronger than ever on the other side. That is no mean feat. But while I never understand mean people, people who love can survive so much. Love's terrible other side, as Madeleine L'Engle wrote about. And while love has its downs and terrors it still keeps us going in a way that hate never can - even though it looks that way.

But this - this is the best of love!

And suddenly, you are wondering (as am I) why this post is called "Grilled Vegetables to Die For, aren't you? Well, the real thrust of this is supposed to be Ray's weightless, a battle that has suddenly - amazingly - become not a battle, but a very, seemingly easy, transition into healthy living all around. He is eating great foods, little meat, less carbs, tons of greens and fruits. He is exercising - walking, working outside, working with an exercising device. He is practically racing up and down stairs, doing home improvements, enjoying all of it! It is just a complete 180 degree turn around from the last four or so years. I'm delighted and so proud of him!